Anger Management - Balance Lifestyle with Victor Chauke

1.   Acknowledge anger. Be willing to admit you are angry. Accepting the naturalness of the anger emotion will remind you of your human limitations. Even with these limitations or weaknesses it does not take away your worth as a person. God has a forgiving nature and while in the rising heat of a battle you will be able to draw upon His forgiving nature that you are out of control. It is important when you are angry to feel some freedom to express your negative emotions in the presence of others. In the presence of others you should not be harshly confronted but encouraged to express what you are feeling. It may be necessary to slow down the rapid firing thoughts that surface and are reflected in bitterness or irritation. Upon feeling these surges of anger feelings, take a deep breath and try to relax your muscles. Try to think and talk slowly or not talk at all. Sometimes, if possible it may be necessary to separate yourself from the conflict or provoking situation. Asking for a better time to talk about the issue may be necessary for any success.

2.   Control thoughts. Your thought life is the key to whether you will be able to control your behaviors. Thoughts prior to anger are very important. Thoughts are the fuel for irrational behaviors prolonged existence and strength. When anger feelings begin, you should listen to yourself think. You are constantly making judgment calls, decisions and comparisons without knowing all there is to know. In the long run, you can only change yourself. Changing your thoughts can be difficult and you will only succeed if really want to change your anger.

3.   Discern the causes of your anger. What is making you angry right now? This is not the reason for your anger but provoked what was hidden beneath within your mind. Make an honest checklist- what are   your personal fears, what irritates you, are your expectations too high or are there others around you that are hot-tempered and see if the flame of your anger is fanned from these things. Understanding that the moment you are angry happened way before and was just waiting to surface.

4.   Challenge irrational beliefs. Renew your mind daily by reading the Bible to keep in check your expectations of others and whether you think you are always right. The word of God is a plumb line as to what is prosperous and what will build you up.

5.   Do not be bothered by everything. By having a mindset that there will be “normal troubles” that come with everyday living and relating to others. It will be important to learn new ways when dealing with situations such as; not to be angered when something goes wrong, hope that today is a good day to be alive and trying to maintain a positive attitude. Life is something that is worth working at and problems are normal.

6.   Consider the goals for your relationships. When anger is provoked by another person ask yourself to remember the goals for that relationship and your Christian responsibility. By holding back anger also means having a forgiving mindset because forgiveness cannot dwell side by side with anger. Granting forgiveness to others no matter what the sin or faults will tantamount to recognize human weakness. When “slow to anger” people examine their responsibility in anger-causing situations and be willing to confess their responsibility.

7.   Develop peace of mind. Holding back anger and taking the time to work at changing anger responses develops and increasing sense of control as well as patience and peace. This does not happen overnight and needs encouragement to keep going in the direction of healing. By using Scripture, an angry person will be able to rise above hate and anger so to forgive and resolve issues that held them back before.

Steps to Making Your Dream Come True- Balanced Lifestyle with Victor Chauke

Pursue your dreams. Reach for the stars. Take a leap of faith.

Pick your cliche; we’ve heard them all before. Our minds are flooded with motivational proclamations and anecdotes about following our dreams and accomplishing our goals in life. And inspired we are! We hear romantic stories all of the time that get our blood pumping and compel us to do whatever it is that we always wanted to do. We read the book; we watch the movie; we hear the song on the radio. And we get excited. We’re going for it this time for sure!

And yet, most of us never move a muscle. We feel compelled to pursue our goals but can’t seem to get past the compulsion. Our hearts are filled with wishes and dreams, but our feet are paralyzed with uncertainty. Great, we have a dream! What do we do with it?

It’s time to stop dreaming and start living; here’s how to do it:

#1. Dare to Dream

No, I’m not being redundant. To achieve a dream, you have to first be willing to dream it. Some people never get this far. What about you? Do have the courage to dream? Or, are you constantly telling yourself, “That’ll never happen?” You can’t reach a goal that you don’t have. And it’s much easier to drift through life aimlessly than it is to risk suffering the pain and disappointment of failure. But, are you willing to go beyond “easy” to realize a dream? That’s where it starts. Having a dream is table stakes for dream-fulfillment.

#2. Get a Guide

You don’t have to do it alone. It is your dream, but there are many who will be willing to help you achieve it. All you have to do is ask. Who have you adopted as your guide? Even if you do know where you’re going, a second perspective is always useful. It can be a family member, friend, teacher, coach, or manager. Find someone who knows the way and enlist them for help. You won’t regret it!

#3. Leave Your Tower

To make your dreams come true, you’ve got to get started.

Eventually, you need to move from the realm of thinking to the realm of doing. You need to make a “no turning back” decision that sets you in the direction of accomplishing your goals. Have you taken the initial step? Or, are you still stuck in your tower dreaming? Nothing will ever happen until you get started. You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone and burn the bridge leading back to it. Break off the unhealthy relationship you’re in. Buy an expensive set of paints for your first masterpiece. Quit your job. Do something that sends the signal that you are serious and you’re not turning back.

#4. Shun Criticism

Cynics will abound. For every person willing to help you, there will be a hundred telling you why you can’t or shouldn’t go after your dreams. In fact, this is why many people don’t ever try–because they don’t want to disappoint others. Who is holding you back? Is it your parents? Friends? Colleagues? No matter who it is, you must learn to disregard anything they say that discourages you from your pursuit. In seeking to accomplish your goals, you will disappoint people. You have to live with that. But the real question is whether or not you’re disappointing yourself. No one else is living your life but you. Thrive on encouragement, and wash criticism off like the filth that it is.

#5. Face the Ruffians

If you aren’t doing what scares you, you aren’t doing enough. Challenges will await you as you pursue your dream and, if your fear outweighs your desire to succeed, you aren’t going to get anywhere. You have to be willing to take risks. Ask someone out. Display your work at the local art gallery. Give a presentation to a prospective employer. Do something scary. If there is no opportunity to fail, then there really is no opportunity to succeed. To make progress, you’ve got to face your fears. When you do, you’ll find that the “ruffians” aren’t quite as intimidating as you imagined them to be.

#6. Enjoy the Journey

The process of fulfilling your dream shouldn’t be a chore; it should be an adventure. There will be obstacles, yes, but you can still have fun along the way. The realization of your dream will last for a moment while the journey to realize it can be rather lengthy. Don’t waste that time in frustration; enjoy yourself. What about you? Are you having fun yet? Or, are you tired and burnt out from your journey? Determination is one thing; exasperation is something else entirely. Stress is a dream-killer. If you don’t love the journey taken to realize it, the actual fulfillment of your dream won’t mean as much. You’ll find yourself questioning whether or not it was worth the trouble. So, do yourself a favor and have a little fun.

#7. Find a New Dream

What happens when you actually achieve your dream? What then? What if it isn’t all that you dreamed it would be? And what if it is? What do you do after you’ve already attained that which you’ve been wishing for your entire life? At this point, you’ve got to find another dream.What will your new dream be? Once you’ve accomplished what you set out to do, what will you do then? If you don’t develop a new ambition, you’ll be sticking yourself back into a tower all over again. You see, life isn’t about one huge success; it’s about a series of successes. The successful person is the one who never stops pursuing dreams. You’ve achieved your dream? Great! Now, what’s next?

Dreaming is great. But nothing really happens until you wake up. Are you ready to wake up and do something? Are you willing to put in the work it takes to be successful? If so, what are you waiting for? The realization of a dream awaits you

10 Tips for Spring Cleansing & Spiritual Renewal- Balanced with Victor Chauke

1.      Feel the power of Nature all around you and within you. Know that this awesome force is available to you, and allow it to influence the course of your life and health. Identify the areas of your life that need some work and plan specific improvements that incorporate the changing seasons. Allow yourself to visualize your Perfect Life, and nourish that vision through your cleansing and renewal process.

2.      Spring is the time for renewing your life - letting go of what you don't need (physical, mental, and emotional habits that undermine your health) and bringing in what you need anew (accepting positive health habits that will satisfy your soul). Take a break from the TV to be more creative, or read by candlelight without the electrical vibrations at night, or just sit quiet to meditate and listen.

3.      Get more outside exercise and spend more time in Nature. Take hikes, plant a garden, or work in a community garden. Create a balanced fitness program or modify the one you are already following that will support your healthy, body/mind happiness. Working up a sweat helps you dump toxins; this will improve your health and lead to fewer doctor's visits. Also add some reflective practices such as stretching, yoga, or chi gong; these help support renewal by giving your body time to gently de-stress and deepen the changes you are making in your life.

4.      Consider a special and specific detoxification program. This could include substance avoidance (off sugar and caffeine, for example), the Detox Diet, or a Juice Cleanse (with the warming of the weather), such as the Master Cleanser (lemonade diet), all discussed in my books and in several Articles on my website. Herbal remedies for detoxification can also be helpful.

5.      Renew all aspects of your Life. Go through your piles of papers, your clothes, and the corners of rooms in areas that haven't seen light for years. Don't be afraid to let go and let things flow. Give things away, have a garage sale, and recycle or re-circulate what you can. "Being simple, simply being." (Argisle-izm)

6.      Begin to gently, yet seriously, re-evaluate the key areas of your life - work (career), relationships, and health. Again, look at what undermines your potential in these worlds and allow clear guidance, suggestions, and actions to arise in your being. Try to be more aware of the subtle areas of life and the effects of foods. How does the food you eat make you feel. Increased vitality and improved health will change how you view your life and how much energy you have to create positive change for yourself.

7.      It is your healthy body that lets your Spirit fly more freely. Nutritional supplements (as the raw materials--vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and fatty acids) nourish and support your body and mind, and this in turn enhances your higher dimensions. The cleansing process de-stresses your body and lets your energy rise and awaken your psyche. Freshly squeezed juices and herbal teas are vitalizing, high-vibration nourishment. Sprouts from seeds and grains are live, vital food. Aromatherapy and smelling the beautiful sweetness of the spring flowers will soother your soul as well.

8.      Be Earth-aware and Earth-friendly. Be conscious of where things come from and where they go - and the real cost of products you use - such as plastics and chemical products. Re-use and Re-cycle. Support more earth-conscious businesses and products. How do you vote with your dollar?

9.      Cleansing habits to incorporate include deep and relaxed breathing, yoga-type stretching, dry skin brushing, and wonderful walks in Nature. When was the last time you de-stressed, downloaded and digested your life experiences to catch up to the present? After my detox groups, people are usually more attuned and more aware of their habits, and have made long-term positive changes. It is crucial for most people in our busy society to take occasional food fasts (instead of fast foods), substance breaks, and even appliance (electromagnetic) and news/TV vacations.

10.   Do something that uplifts your Spirit, such as caring for a loved one or an elderly neighbor. Trust your heart and feed it joyful experiences. Put your Spirit on the line for what you believe. Doing for another is key to completing the circle of life, called Love. Building community is a positive change for Earth as well as for our Spirit

7 Ways to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone and Live a More Exciting Life- Balanced Lifestyle with Victor Chauek

It’s easy to get stuck.

Nestle yourself deeper and deeper into that warm, safe and comforting comfort zone.

But if you want to improve your life you’ll sooner or later need to step out of that zone. Because it’s there you’ll find all those new and exciting experiences. Where you’ll find freedom from boredom.

Here are 8 ideas that can help you get out of your comfort zone. Some are ways to make the process easier. Some are ways you may not have thought of (or forgotten).

1. Face your fears. But do it in small steps.

This is one of the best ways to overcome fears and get out of your comfort zone. What holds us back in our zone of comfort is often a fear or that facing that fear straight on might be overwhelming. This is a solution to those two problems. It allows you to stretch your comfort zone slowly making it less uncomfortable and frightening.

If you’re for instance nervous socially you might not feel able to ask people out on dates right away. The fear of being rejected and that others might think less of you if you get turned down can make many of us feel unable to ask the question.

So you take small steps instead. Steps like first just saying hi to people. Or starting to talk more to people online via forums and Instant Messaging. And then trying to be more involved in conversations at work or in school to exercise your conversation-muscles.

I guess one could say that you gradually de-sensitize yourself to social situations or whatever you are afraid of. Or, seeing it in a more motivating light, that you are building courage and expanding your comfort zone in this part of your life (which is something that often seeps over to other areas of life too.)

So, identify your fear. Then make a plan with some smaller steps you can take to gradually lessen your discomfort.

2. Try something weird.

One obvious way to move out of your comfort zone is to do something new. But a more interesting option might be to think of doing something weird. When you choose something new you may choose something that is line with your personality. So your experiences can become limited. Instead, choose something that’s out of character for you. Something that isn’t you as you are right now. Something that you – and/or the people close to you – wouldn’t think that you would do.

3. Make a new acquaintance.

This will expose your to new experiences, opinions and interests. And it’s not just about meeting new people the usual way. Try just picking up a biography about someone you know nothing about. Start reading a book from a writer you haven’t read before. Read about a random topic at Wikipedia. Or add an unexpected RSS-feed about something you normally never read about.

4. Take a friend with you.

In general, it’s often easier to not go it alone. And this applies to many situations. Including when you are going for the emotional bungee jump that getting out of your comfort zone can be.

I’d say this probably the most popular way to get yourself out of comfort zones. If you are going to a party where you know few people then it may be easier to bring a friend. If you have decided to start going to the gym it might be easier to actually get going and keeping going there every week if you have a gym-partner.

However, there are potential downsides to bringing friends too. If you are at the party with your friend then you might not meet and get to know that many new people. If you are going to the gym with a partner it might lead to the two of you talking and focusing less on getting a great workout.

5. Educate yourself.

Your comfort zone might be protecting your from imaginary dangers. Maybe things aren’t as difficult or scary as you imagine? Do a bit of research. Getting some good information can dissipate quite a bit of your fear and nervousness.

Do a bit of Googling. Read books and blogs. Ask someone who has been there before. By reading/hearing about what others that have done the same thing you are about to do saw, heard, felt and did you can not only lessen negative feelings but also get some very valuable and practical tips.

6. Awash your mind with positive memories.

Realise it can be fun to get out of your comfort zone despite what your mind and feelings might be telling you before you get started. Think back to the previous times when you have broken out of your comfort zone. Focus on the positive memories, when you got out there, when you took a chance. And it wasn’t so bad, it was actually fun and exciting and something new to you.

A lot of times we automatically play back our negative experiences – or negative interpretations of events – in our minds before we are about to do something. And we forget about the positive memories and our previous, positive achievements. Avoid that trap. Let the good memories flow through your mind instead and let things become easier.

7. Use other methods to pump yourself up.

Besides remembering positive memories, there are a whole bunch of things you can do to pump up your emotional state temporarily. Here is a small list of such tips within in this list:

Position yourself as a woman to do great in life ( Career & Business)- Balanced lifestyle with Victor Chauke

"Whether you're standing in a bathroom line or unemployment line, how do you step out of that line? If you focus on what you're good at and what's important to you, you'll probably do it faster,” Here are ten of her top tips:

1. Follow your passion
A recurring theme throughout each entrepreneur’s discussion was the advice to follow your passion. “Too many people think of entrepreneurship as a career path. Whenever you ask an entrepreneur, it’s never about money or a business plan – that’s the biggest mistake,” Mycoskie said. “The most important thing is to follow your passion.”

2. Be authentic
No one can state this better than Snoop Dogg himself. When asked what his best advice was, he said, “Be original. There are so many things in life people need. Make something no one can compete with.” He used 50 Cent as an example. “50 Cent took Vitamin Water and put the money he made back into the company. Take something very small and make it original.”

3. Study
All of the panelists agreed on the importance of completing college to achieve one’s greatest potential. “You make it easier for yourself if you finish your education because you network and make connections,” Sternlicht said.

4. Don’t lose humility
“People lose fortunes when they lose their intellectual humility,” Sternlicht stated. “Nobody knows everything. Be patient, don’t rush. Don’t be so arrogant. See the potholes in your business. Always have a plan B and think, how can it go wrong?”

5. Fake it ‘til you make it
Before founding TOMS Shoes, Mycoskie started EZ Laundry, a door-to-door laundry service aimed at fellow college students at Southern Methodist University. When he first launched his service no one wanted to give him their laundry, so for 3-4 weeks he and a friend would drive around campus and pretend they were picking up and delivering laundry. Once students became more familiar with the business and thought others were using it, they put their trust in Mycoskie and EZ Laundry took off.

6. Some rules are not made to be broken
When first starting TOMS Shoes, Mycoskie had no experience in shoes or design. He decided to sell shoes out of canvas bags instead of the typical boxes stacked in department stores. Canvas bags created havoc in storing the shoes, eventually leading Nordstrom to discontinue selling the shoes. “There are reasons boxes in stock rooms exist,” he told students.

7. Hustle
“If you had no capital, how did you start TOMS Shoes?” Maria Bartiromo asked. “We just hustled,” Mycoskie said. “Employees can be part of the cause. Our original team was me and three interns I recruited on Craigslist.” There are tremendous amounts of grants and funding for young entrepreneurs, especially if there is a social component, you just have to go out and find it, he stated.

8. Dedication
Stephen Hansen, founder and president of B.R. Guest Restaurants was asked the reasons behind his success to which he joked, “not being married so you can devote all your time to the restaurant.” It takes a huge amount of dedication and staying true to yourself, he said. The restaurant business runs seven days a week, often 18 hours a day and the trick is “not taking your eye off the ball.”

9. Stay on top of your market
Hansen explained that competition is also a great motivator. “I always stay on top of the market. The Internet and social networking are always morphing businesses. Stay with the curve or ahead of the curve and be perceptive. You can’t think what you built will sustain forever, there are always slight changes. Know your business.”

10. Don’t think about failure
One of the world’s leading hotel and leisure companies, Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide, Inc., is known for its innovation and global appeal. Chairman, president and CEO Barry Sternlicht helped with Starwood’s ongoing success and is one of the most respected leaders in the industry. “I never thought about failure. I thought about success. Failure wasn’t an option. I never looked backwards, I kept looking forward,” Sternlicht said.

Read more: Entrepreneurs Give Career Advice - Business Tips from Successful Entrepreneurs - Marie Claire

Single Mothers- Balanced lifestyle with Victor Chauke

At times, it'll feel like the hardest thing you've ever done. You'll be forced to make decisions you never wanted to contemplate, and to rely on strength you didn't even know you had. These practical tips for newly single parents will help you persevere through the challenges you face and gain a renewed sense of hope and personal strength for the days ahead.

1. Develop a Support Network

This is absolutely crucial. You need to know who you can depend on right now. Most likely, this network includes your immediate family and friends, but think about other people in your life who might also help you. Making an actual list of who these people are can help remind you that you're not alone. In addition, consider joining a formal support group for single parents in your area.

2. Schedule Time to Be Alone

"Me time" is a very powerful tool. It will bring you healing, hope, and perspective. Right now, it’s important that you create pockets of time in your life when you can just be. Time when you’re not accountable for completing a task or responding to questions. Time to sit, to think, to ponder. This is one of the most important single parenting tips, and it's one that you simply must make time for.

3. Think Outside the Box

If finding time to yourself sounds impossible, consider some creative solutions, like swapping babysitting time with a neighbor or waking up a half-hour before the rest of your household. The time that you give yourself is precious, and it will be fruitful in helping you to establish reserves of inner strength.

4. Be Present with Your Kids

When you're with your children, make an effort to be emotionally present with them. It would be easy to retreat into your heart right now, but this is a time when your children truly need you more than ever. Simple activities like playing a board game or taking a walk together can go along way toward communicating the message that life will go on and they will, indeed, be okay.

5. Get the Facts About Your Situation

You might be tempted to make quick decisions right now about where to live and how to handle your finances. However, ignorance in this area can be extremely dangerous, and so can making rash, uninformed decisions. For now, take the time to find out where you stand financially. Gather the necessary papers in order so that when you are emotionally ready to make changes, you'll be prepared and able to make informed decisions.

6. Grieve

Expressing your feelings is important to your overall health. Consider writing in a journal or scheduling a regular "date" with a friend to vent, cry, and grieve. Single parents are born of many different situations. Whether you've experienced the loss of a spouse, the end of a marriage, or an adjustment to the dream you once held for your life, it is important to grieve and process the loss before moving on.

7. Pay Attention to your Physical Health

This may be a time when you are feeling especially worn down and drained. Combat that by making the effort to eat healthy foods and choose energizing ways to fuel your body. Instead of relying on extra caffeine, try taking a walk at lunchtime. Additionally, getting adequate rest is crucial to your healing and ability to cope. Forgo the temptation to sit in front of the TV. Instead, read a book and retire early.

8. Identify What Gives You Strength

In the past, how have you handled challenging times in your life? What most energizes you and reminds you that you possess the strength needed to meet the current challenge? Focus on what has worked for you in the past.

9. Let Go of What Isn't Working

Likewise, let go of what has not worked for you. As you move through this first year, reflect on the habits and choices that have not served you well, and decide to change them. In addition, if there are things from the past that you cannot change, let go of unhealthy guilt and remorse.

10. Focus on the Positive

This is a time of new growth in your life. Take the time to think about the things that are going well for you. Having a positive attitude - even in the midst of extreme circumstances - can empower you to move ahead and provide your children with a tangible example of the coping strategies you want them to adopt.

11. Ask for Help

Of all of the single parenting tips listed here, this one is probably the most difficult to apply. However, you must know that there really are people around you who would love to help! Keep in mind, too, that asking for help and letting others into your life is a gift to yourself and to the person assisting you. Sharing in one another’s lives during difficult times affirms our human connection and brings a sense of purpose to everyday living.

Shirley Mthembie

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