7 Steps to Breaking Out of Old Comfort Zones

Do you ever have that inner conflict… you WANT to try something new (explore a new park, find new friends, learn a language) and part of you seems to WANT to sit on the couch and watch that old rerun while you eat some chips?

We’ve all been there!

The conflict and inner struggle can end up sapping all of your focus, so all you have energy for is another rerun. And yet another day passes in the same old way. You haven’t taken action to create your dreams. You’re stuck in your old comfort zone… or maybe your dead zone!

When we stop beating ourselves up for our lack of forward motion, and ease the inner struggle… in the quiet that follows, we find powerful insights to help us release these patterns.

Please understand… there is nothing wrong with sitting on the couch, watching reruns, or eating chips if that’s what you choose! We all need to chill sometimes. It’s when the hours, days, weeks and years of our life start slipping by, and struggle becomes resignation, then defeat, THAT’S when we need to make a change.

1) First of all, pick ONE thing to focus on. What is one idea you’ve been wanting to follow through on that seems interesting?

If you try to change your whole life and tackle all the projects you put off for a few decades… your system will feel overwhelmed and tend to crash.

If you find yourself INSISTING on doing it all at once, recognize that as a defense mechanism designed to slow you down or stop you. Get some help. Talk it through with a friend or get some coaching to help you efficiently and effectively work through this.

And as always, feel free to share this newsletter with your friends and families. The more self-aware, powerful people you’re around, who can support you and be role models, the easier it is to move forward with your dreams!

2) Make sure this is something you WANT to do for you, or CHOOSE to do, not something you decided you SHOULD do.

You may have a project for work that isn’t that juicy, in which case it’s easy to blame your boss or resist. If you can remember that most projects can be pretty fun… IF WE REALLY TUNE IN and are present with them. And if you can’t find any “juice” you may want to renegotiate with your boss and find out if there are other solutions. Or trade the dull parts with a co-worker who loves that kind of work!

If this is a personal project, why do you think you SHOULD do it? What emotional experience do you think it will create? Is there some other, more delightful way to get the same emotional experience?

3) Once you have your single focus, ask yourself: what is one thing I could do to get this project started? If you want to learn a new language, you might google “language lessons” for your area, or browse Amazon for 20 minutes to find some audios. If you already have audios, could you gather pen, paper, and headphones so you’re prepared to listen?

Make this first step SMALL. See if you can make it no more than 30 minutes, and ideally, 2-5 minutes.

The key is to train yourself to take small, positive steps and to appreciate and congratulate yourself. You’re building up a muscle and it’s ok and healthy to take it in bite-sized increments!

4) Notice what fears and resistances come up when you do this or plan your next step.

This is the part most people avoid. They don’t want to think about their fears, so they run away, and end up back on the couch with the chips. (Or they say, “The Law of Attraction says not to!”) Resistance is resistance. Denying that resistance exists is like denying that you have ANTs at times.

So… Write down what you notice, even if it seems “silly” or “stupid” to you. Our subconscious brain isn’t always logical, and the issues that ”don’t make sense” are often the ones keeping us stuck!

5) Tap on the issues that you wrote down in #4. Release the fears and worries that are holding you back. Share them with a friend. Work with a group -  sharing fears and shames with a safe group can rapidly transform the “rules” in your subconscious mind.

6) PRAISE yourself! Pay attention to the good things you did, rather than the fact you didn’t get more done.

It’s easy to notice how much remains left to do and get discouraged. Those ANTs (Automatic Negative Thoughts) and defense mechanisms can creep in when we least expect them!

Pretend your subconscious is a small dog you want to behave in a certain way. Yelling at the dog just makes him afraid. Praise for the good things will have that dog jumping up to look for the next way he can be “good” and earn more appreciation.

7) Go back to step 3, choose another small task, and take action. Keep noticing your fears and resistances… and tap tap tap. And praise yourself when you do!

To use our example of learning a language, your next small step might be to listen to 15 minutes of audio, tapping whenever you feel resistant. Then celebrating the progress you made!

Performing religious rituals

Performing religious rituals in diverse sharing accommodation set up.....is it acceptable or unacceptable?

Empowering Young People to be Agents of Change

"There's nothing worse than, wasted talent!" Raise your children for success! Give them the best examples of life, and not the least, the worst, or the completely negative. Their possibilities at successful life, are extremely difficult, when our children have, NO knowledge of anything of value, nor anything positive! The more knowledge they have of all things, the more valuable they become. The less you know, the less valuable you are to yourself, and society! So, GET YOUR EDUCATION, BE RESPECTFUL AND RESPONISIBLE, GET THAT LEGAL MONEY, AND BE THE BEST PERSON, YOU POSSIBLY CAN!!!

We R Who We R!!!!!

There is no better gratification than being successful. Accept that you are in for some  hard  work but the results will be incredible. Think about who YOU are and use that to better your business? We come from all over the world and take different aspects on life but we all can succeed at whatever we do!

Face Your Weaknesses

 The best way to get better at anything and to be successful is to face the weaknesses we all possess. Everyone has weaknesses and in order to be better, think clear, act appropriately, and succeed, you have to identify the areas you need to improve on and then take action to turn your weaknesses into strengths. What are your strenghts and weaknesses? Do you work to better your weaknesses

Break Bad Habits

Habits, regardless of size or nature, can be exceptionally difficult to break. This will take a lot of effort but you can do it. Unfortunately, poor habits can be the one aspect of your behavior that could be the obstacle to your success. If you have a habit of sniffling or chewing your nails when you get nervous or saying  demeaning or offensive things as a way of trying to control, to be successful, whether on a personal or business level, you have to stop.Are you working to overcome your bad habits?

Guard your Emotions

Keeping emotions in check is not always an easy task. You will have times of disappointment that will require you to react with integrity. You may feel like crying and feel as though your world has just ended. Keep telling yourself that it has not ended and you will just have to make some adjustments in your plan.  Never allow anger to be a response. You never know the trickle down effect of  that anger and how it could permanently damage your reputation.

Learn a New Skill

Learn new skills that will enhance your success. If you want to become a hairstylist and someday open a line of salons, in addition to cutting hair, learn how to braid, color, do weaves, etc.

Create a Vision*

A great way to keep working toward your goal is to see it. Find pictures that represent your success and put them where you will see them all the time. If your goal is to lose weight, print off a before and after picture of someone that has a similar body type to yourself. If your goals are financial in nature, cut out  pictures  of what your life looks like when you are successful. Get a picture of that sports car, or new home, or vacation spot. Make a poster and hang it in your office. Seeing is believing!

John Tibane (Dr) Role Model of the Week

Dr John Tibane is a leadership consultant, health consultant and professional speaker and trainer.
A qualified medical doctor, John Tibane gave up the world of medicine to follow his dream of speaking and training. John Tibane believes that his seven years of medical study gave him immense knowledge about life, his seven years of medical practice gave him immense understanding of people and his studies in business management and consulting for various organisations gave him his wisdom, all of which he uses during his motivational and leadership presentations.
John Tibane holds a bachelor’s degree in medicine and surgery as well as a diploma in business management and executive development.
John Tibane has a clear mission in life, to identify, inspire and increase leadership excellence in people, through meaningful relationships, education and training. His core message is that we are all bestowed with the potential to become the people we were meant to be and we were all born to become leaders in our purposes.
Presentation titles:

• True Dreams Do Come True
• Just Do It, Because You Can
• The Seven Absolutes of Success
• Developing a Mindset of Success
• Get on Your Marks, Get Set, Get Ready, Go
• The Power of Self Motivation
• Developing The Leader Within You
• Millennium Leadership Excellence
• Cultural Diversity
• Transforming Followers into Leaders

How to be greatful and thankful in hard times- Balanced Lifestyle with Victor Chauke

1.Appreciate Your Good Health

No matter what your physical or mental health is like, you should always appreciate the fact that it could have been worse. You may be suffering from a dozen ailments, but it is always better than the worst. You should be thankful for the current status of your health. Look at people who have a poorer health than yours and you will realize how you are better off than a lot of people. Be grateful for what you have than cribbing over that it could have been better.

2.Value Your Family & Friends

The tendency to take people for granted equates to devaluing them. When was the last time when you thanked your family and friends for their constant support? They have always been around and have been your pillar of strength standing by your side in the toughest of problems. We realize the value of certain things when we know that we can’t have them forever. Don’t forget to be thankful to your friends and family just because they are always there.

3.Be Grateful For The Opportunities You Got 

Appreciate the opportunities that you have had in life, for there are many who continue to struggle all their lives. Be grateful for the numerous exciting opportunities that might have come your way and helped you to become what you are today. Consider yourself lucky to have things going your way, whenever so happened. What you have in life may not be in proportion to your expectations, but it should not stop you from being pleased with whatever you have got.

4.Value The Material Benefits You Enjoy

You may dream about owning a palatial home one day, but don’t disown the fact that you have a safe roof over your head, food to eat and other necessities. There are millions of people around, for whom a meal per day is a luxury they can’t afford. This is not to say that always draw such comparisons that make you feel better. You just have to realize that you have so much to thank for, even as you feel disheartened for some of your dreams not being fulfilled.

5. Discover what you are grateful for:  The real uncertainty we face about our economic future can make us quite fearful and sad. Locating those things for which we can still be grateful, brings joy even in the face of those challenges without pretending they are not real.

Organizing your own funeral; is it good or bad?

I hear that it has become a norm for lot of people nowadays to organize their own funeral.....others write their own programs while others organize their own speakers on the day of their funerals and etc....what is your own view on this??????

How to Find The Courage To Change- Balanced Lifestyle with Victor Chauke

Do you need to start your life all over?

There are a lot of changes going on right now.  There are economic changes, political changes and for some, big life changes.  This can be a scary and confusing place to be.

All these changes, are leaving people in a place they never thought they’d find themselves.  They need to start all over again.

Regardless of how you might have ended up where you are at, starting over is not easy.  Most of us have forgotten what it is like to begin again.  We grew so used to our life and the way it flowed, that we aren’t even sure how to handle waking up not knowing what to do.

I urge you not to give up!  A new life is out there for you.  Yes, you have some work to do and no it won’t necessarily be easy, but you can do it.  You can build yourself a new life.  Let me share some thoughts with you on how to go about it.

Get a Plan to Guide You to a New Life

The number one thing you need when you are trying to start over is a solid plan.  Big life changes can be paralyzing.  They can leave you feeling afraid, confused and hopeless.

A good plan will help you to overcome your paralysis.  It will guide you step-by-step through a process to decide what you want and how to get it.  After all, you wouldn’t start a trip without a destination in mind and a map to follow, now would you?

The plan that I’d recommend is Discover Your Passion: A Step-by-Step Course for Creating the Life of Your Dreams.  It was developed by Barrie Davenport, a career and life transition coach.  You will not find a better resource to get you back on your feet.  Barrie’s material will help you start over from the beginning to build the perfect life.  Don’t hesitate to get this great guide to starting your life over!

 Adjust Your Perspective to Your New Situation

Take an honest inventory of your life.  Many people find this very difficult.  They refuse to accept that they are starting over from scratch.  Instead, they bury their heads in the sand and try to continue living like they always have.  If you really need to start over, then denying it simply won’t work.

Put your pride aside and be willing to do whatever it takes to rebuild your life.  Frugal Dad recently highlighted a book called Scratch Beginnings.  It details the real-life journey of Adam Shepard, who upon graduating from college put aside his degree and all his worldly possessions and tried to start over in a new city with only $25.

While Adam’s situation was self-imposed, I believe the lessons he learned and the attitudes he adopted would be helpful to anyone having to begin again.  Getting the right perspective on where you are at is an essential first step to getting your life back on track.

Dig Deep and Remember How You Did It the First Time

Most of us started out in life from a clean slate.  We built our lives from scratch once so surely we can use some of the same methods to do it again.  It is a stretch, but recalling how you did it the first time is probably a very useful exercise.

Take the lessons that you learned the first time around and use them to avoid repeating any mistakes you made before.  Mistakes are nothing to be ashamed of admitting.  Our mistakes are how we gain experience.

If you are starting over, then you probably have a good deal of experience on your side this time that you didn’t have before.  This is to your credit.  Use your experience to jumpstart your new life!

Set a Few Simple Goals

You’ve got to clear your head.  As Ron at The Wisdom Journal points out, having too many goals is like having none.  You need focus right now and the best way that I know to achieve this is to set a few simple goals.

I suggest that you set two or three short-range goals that you want to accomplish in the next three months.  Also, I recommend looking out a year from now and envisioning where you want yourself to be.  Be realistic but also stretch yourself.

In his book, Adam Shepard set short-range goals to get out of the homeless shelter and to have a job by a certain date.  Your situation may or may not be this dire.  The point is to get focused on exactly what you want to accomplish.  Set a few goals and pursue them vigorously!

Become a Master of Your Finances

Money is the fuel you need to keep your life going while you are recovering.  You’ve got to get absolute control over every penny you have.  Madison at My Dollar Plan shares some great resources for doing this in Money by the numbers.

When you are starting over, you can’t afford to make a lot of financial mistakes.  Generally, you are walking a economic tight wire.  Fortunately, there are a ton of free resources on the Internet to help you become a master of your financial destiny.

Of course, you want to exercise caution and remember, "If it sounds too good to be true, then it probably is."  Don’t be tempted to try a shortcut to getting back on your feet.  It will likely lead you into a blind dead-end.  Be patient and work your plan.  You’ll be living a new life before you know it!

Wheel and Deal to Accelerate Your Recovery

You’ve got to negotiate with everyone on everything right now to get your new life going as quickly as possible.  Sara at On Simplicity recently wrote a fantastic guide to bartering that I recommend reading.

Trading your labor or expertise for things you need is a great way to save money and to build new relationships as you start a new life.  You’ve got to think differently right now.  Most of us, don’t negotiate and barter enough in our regular lives.  We get stuck thinking too narrowly.

Now is the time to break free from these ruts and discover new ways to get even more out of life.  Be bold.  You’ll get more than you expect if you will just ask.  Make deals and deliver value to everyone you meet.  This is a sure way to rebuilding a life you’ll love in no time!

Suddenly your partner is Homosexual! what do you do?

Your 7 years partner one morning  informs you that he/she is homosexualy? In addition you have children together! Where do you start and What do you do?